Guide to Setting Healthy Boundaries

 At year end we might worry that by unplugging for the holidays, we might anger or disappoint the very people who are deciding our promotion, compensation, or employment status during downsizing.  More often than not, we tell ourselves that if we honor our boundaries, we are securing our fate as fired or plateaued at work.  Boundaries are elusive because what keeps us from even pursuing them is thinking that we need permission from someone else.

It’s such a power move to flip from complaining about unstated boundaries being violated to just deciding what those impenetrable boundaries are, single-handedly.  It is empowering to remember that by taking genuine breaks our performance is better for it and our career will benefit.

Maybe you take no breaks during the workday.  Maybe you use laptops and devices into the night.  Maybe you often forget to eat because you are engrossed in your work.  Maybe you often spend late nights in the office.  Maybe when you are not working, your mind is still squarely on your work.  Maybe right now you are used to putting everything second to work.

You are not alone.  We tend to be good soldiers, we carry out orders, we suck it up.  But then we realize that somewhere along the way, we lost our freedom.  You can take it back and state your claim over your well-being.  You don’t need to walk off the job and start a boycott.  You don’t have to wait for a flexible work arrangement or for our culture to change.  You don’t need permission from anyone.  You can do this right now. 

YOU are the CEO of YOUR life and career - no one else.  You can set healthy boundaries on your work and make sure your priorities remain intact, so the quality of your work will flourish.  When you take care of yourself and feel that you are operating in alignment with your priorities, the professional impact you have will grow.

Boundaries are purely decisions that you make.  It is taking back control over what you will tolerate and what actions you commit to.  Boundaries are all about not letting someone else dictate the terms that you will accept.  Get my quick guide to do this ahead of your holiday vacation at the link and take a real break that truly refreshes and recharges you.

Set your boundaries for being out of office:

As you answer these questions for yourself, you may be tempted to respond in kind with what you see colleagues doing.  Resist the urge.  Instead, commit to keeping first things first when sorting your priorities and setting expectations for your time out of office. 

• What times are off-limit hours for you?  e.g. meal times with family
• Which days will you be completely unplugged and offline?  e.g. weekends or days of vacation
• Is it for your entire scheduled time off?  e.g. I will respond to your messages upon my return on this date
• Will you check email at all, and if so, when?  e.g. check emails while family is sleeping once a day
• Will you be inaccessible for calls?  e.g. no meetings can be scheduled
• What is the break glass method of a colleague reaching you in an emergency?  e.g. call personal cell in case of what condition
• Who will you share it with?  e.g. lieutenants or assistant
• What might suck you back in to reading every email, teams message, or slack and how will you prevent it? e.g. being curious about developments on a project and the reminder to self of why it's insignificant
• How many days off will you take?  e.g. decide ahead of time
• How many are you entitled to?  e.g. how many days earned
• Did you use all of your vacation days this calendar year?  e.g. how many unused, rollover
• Are there any expectations that need to be set in your out of office message, or on pending deadlines, or with stakeholders to smooth the way?  e.g. if urgent, who to contact in your absence 

Adopting these boundaries for weeknights and weekends:

Consider how you might adopt this not just for vacation but everyday living.  Here are some ideas to get you started in applying this to every week of the year.

• Do you leave your work laptop in the car so you have it in emergency but aren't easily tempted to work during off hours?
• Do you turn off all notifications on your work phone except for calls from VIP contacts?  Maybe you only allow notifications on lock screen in case of emails from your VIP contacts?  This way you never are opening it to proactively check for messages (and getting lost in a rabbithole of work) but instead are being alerted to only those messages that truly have the potential to be time-sensitive.
• How can you train your team to pick up a phone when something is truly urgent?  This will relieve you of looking for a needle in the haystack of your emails and instant messages.
• Ask yourself repeatedly, can this wait until business hours?  Consider when not in the heat of the moment what unique situations absolutely cannot wait.  Which are those that could have evolving negative consequences by not being addressed timely?
• Pick and choose the rare instances to be available at off hours in only these circumstances.  It builds trust that you know how to prioritize and will be there when the situation truly calls for it.  This should take place maybe once or twice a year.  More than that and the pendulum likely has swung too far into people-pleasing.

Committing to clear boundaries:

Complete this template to solidify your boundaries.  Consider this your new standards and honor them as set in stone.  Watch the impact on how your work and life changes.

• Protected Hours Daily - I will put screens down and be inaccessible for work during these times daily and these times on weekends...
• Auto-Replies - My out of office auto-reply will direct inquiries to other team members as follows and set this expectation for my response time...
• Emergency Contact - I will set these expectations for how to reach me with time-sensitive emergencies once or twice a year, this method will be shared with which colleagues...
• Days Off Policy - I will plan to use what portion of the days off that I am entitled to and will schedule them in advance as follows...
• Protected Time - I will block my calendar at these times for deep concentration work and / or rest daily where I will not take meetings, calls, check email or instant messages...

Want more help with leaving work at work so you can successfully unplug for the holidays?  Schedule time for us to meet one-on-one below and set your course for 2025.

Happy Holidays!

Your coach,

Cheri